Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Remember the green light you saw tonight. It's yours

The feeling in your heart.
Your highest sense of purpose.
A worldview larger than yourself.
A sense of empathy with others.
A desire to be of service.
An understanding that you are unique in the universe.
An understanding that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

Friday, May 16, 2014

We are all just navigating the stars

I wish you a life full of challenges and obstacles, from which you will rise above with more experience and resilience. I wish you a life full of not just joy and happiness, but with sadness and tears, so that you will never take someone you love for granted while they are still by your side. I wish you a life that is your own and that is fulfilling in a sense that you and only you can define. Your life ahead will be of anything but the sureness and security you have always had, and it will be more exciting and fulfilling than any years that have passed by. So be brave, my friend. We are all just navigating the stars, trying to figure out how to not waste this precious gift called life. Be brave because in the end, we as star matters will find our place in the world.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

A sunset watching place

Sometimes I just want to watch a good sunset: An open field, wind blowing through my fingers, golden clouds, a burning sun. Traffic noise zones out when I watch the sun descending. The world becomes a quiet place. The different textures and colors of the horizon always makes me really happy. I feel silly to smile ear-to-ear for no particular reason.

Sometimes I just want to watch the sunset, not because it makes me happy. I don't need a reason to be completely, absolutely, honestly, happy. So I walk across the street to an open field where the wind caresses my skin. It's so good to be alive. It is so good.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Why I played a game I knew I would lose

That night after our second date, I lied in my bed, half asleep half drunk, and told my roommate that I might actually love you. 

No, truth is, I am fucking in love with you. I love the way your mouth crinkles when you laugh at me. I love you and the way your eyes stare into me and look through me. How you tilt your head back just slightly to take a sip of beer without ever taking your eyes off me. How you always sit across from me and talk so low. The way you tap your fingers to our favorite song.  How you are the only person that can make me stumble. I try so hard when I'm with you. I am well-put-together, got-my-shit-together Amy around you. I fucking love you and hate you, for all the same reasons.
If we this has to be a game,
I lost. I love you and I can't contain it inside.

Just thought maybe you should know.

Keep a part of us with you

People move on too fast for me.

I know relationships wear out and expire and everything, but people just fly by. Did they feel what I felt? Will they remember me half as much as I will miss them? Sometimes just a few more days or another text message would make the closure so much easier. It hurts to watch people walk on by so effortlessly. Hey, I loved you, and you too, and you, please don't forget us just yet. It was so good when we were together, laughing at our silly games. It felt so good. Please remember us. Remember me. When I know that you will at least keep a piece of us with you, I will be the one to kiss you goodbye.

A mid-sentence closure

It's the end of the book and you have to accept it.

There's no rule against a chapter ending at mid-sentence even if it may be abrupt. No explanation is given. Nothing. It is rude and incomplete. But that's all you get, and there's nothing you can do about it but to put the book back up on the shelf. Maybe the book was good enough that one day you would re-read it and understand what was not written between the lines. Maybe one day the author will be kind enough to release a sequel, explaining if the hero/ heroine survived/ fell in love/ saved the world. But for now, you just got to take the unanswered as the answer. 

Because it is all that you can have, you just got to accept it, hope that one day you will forget how beautiful the story was, and move on.