Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The hurt

I clicked on the wrong tab today. One with our last chat history opened. Angry words, bickering jealousy, restlessness, and sadness all came back at one. Suddenly the memories didn't seem so far away. Suddenly I felt hurt like it was only yesterday.

How did something beautiful like our love turn me into such an ugly person? Because I didn't have you, and you wouldn't have me?

Monday, January 2, 2017

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Now that you've forgotten what happened with us

What do I do, when all I tried to give was love, kindness, and respect, and all you gave in return were text messages that were never sent?

I was overcompensating for what, I don't know. I was trying to love you, forgive you, and then forget us. I shook myself up and left it behind, knowing that I tried my best.

Still, the lingering bitterness on my tongue reminds me that you didn't deserve it all.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Friday, July 8, 2016

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Why didn't you love me when you could?

I think you could have been the one. On paper we checked all the boxes. But I don't think you will ever love me the way I need. I was always trying to love you, and the most you could utter was that noone ever loved you the way I did.

Baby I don't want you to love me because I love you. Love is not a favour you pay in return.

I want you to say that Amy, damn it, you are so weird. You talk about things noone cares about and you act like a child. Stop acting like a child. Damn it Amy why are you so broken and why do you stare at the light with that empty look? You are bipolar, you're a hypocrite, you're a clean freak. You are so weird, so broken, so full of contradictions, and it annoys the fuck out of me but I fucking love you Amy.

You didn't love me like that, did you?

Thursday, April 7, 2016

The distance between us

I was curling up in your arms, my head laying on your shoulders, my hand feeling the quiet beating inside your chest. Yet I know our hearts both belonged to somewhere we had left behind.

You were lying next to me and holding my hands. You smiled at me but I wasn't sure if it was a tired smile, or a sympathetic smile for all the memories we couldn't have because we could not and would not be together anymore.
The distance between us is not measured by transoceanic airplane flights or cross-continent train rides. I cannot travel the distance between our hearts.