Unspectacular in infinity

"

All at once everything was lost

Yet somewhere else it could be found

"

Moments scribbled down

Laughter, tears, memories, memories of memories, alcohol, throw up, all nighter, nightmare, slacking off, ... we did it all

BFF1: "Ye every time I think about him I just want to throw up, like my stomach gets really sick. That's why people drink till they throw up because of intoxication not of memories I guess."
BFF2: "Lol or you just forget the whole thing and eat cupcakes with your friends"

BFF1: "I just needed him to tell me that it's over. He said dating his new girlfriend gave him "perspective". Aah"
BFF2: "Perspective"? Lol. I guess you need some of that too girl"

BFF2: "Still talking to him is not impossible, but it's hard. And you two don't bro out. You will never be bros, then you have to be someone that he wants to be friends with."
BFF1: "Nah I think I'm just gonna be me."
BFF2: "Now I feel dumb"

BFF2: "And the worst part about the whole thing is that he's short. He acts like he's gonna come back and take care of us poor people, and that puts shame to all the taller people like me!"

Have a good day

When I tell you "Have a good day", I don't mean just another mindless substitute for an awkward goodbye. I mean "go on and make the best out of today". Put on make up, or wear no make up at all. I mean "smile at strangers and be nice to one another". Try something new and call an old friend. Feel the feelings you've not had in a while. For life is so short and will end in no predictable way, why not take this opportunity and make the best out of it?

So when someone tells you to "have a good day", stop taking it as an empty goodbye. Go out there and have the best day of your life.

(Dedicated to the beautiful bartender who gave me an undercooked taco. My breakfast sucked but you're still beautiful and our relationship is still OK)

Hearts can heal

For all the air that's in your lungs
For all the joy that is to come
For all the things that you're alive to feel
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

(A Paramore song)

Oblivion

 I remember driving back home with you last February. It was chilli outside but I wanted to wear a dress to our date. I remember feeling so warm and cozy in the passenger seat, watching lights passing by in my half-closed, sleepy eyes, telling you everything in between nothing. Then my favorite song at the time came on and I told you I loved the song. You asked why and your question fell into silence. Then you started tapping your fingers to the beats and singing quietly. You already told me you never sing around other people. The yellow street lights slowed down and stopped on your smile. That's my favorite memory of us. I can close my eyes, think about those 2 minutes, and feel so happy and peaceful. I will forever be grateful for that.

Sleepless nights

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.”


- Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas 

I am still in love with you

It's fucking hard letting you go. It's as hard as accepting that control is an illusion, that fate somehow did not work on us. It hurts. It hurts everyday. I told you I deliberately chose to stay with you every morning of the past 1,096 days. I can't help but wonder: Can I one day tell myself to let you go?